Why is self-esteem so important?
Self-esteem is what we believe about ourselves, its our self worth. Our core beliefs are formed from childhood, through our interactions with our parents, siblings, teachers and any other significant people in our lives. These beliefs are reinforced through experiences and our interactions with our environment. We also form these beliefs based on the negative and positive messages sent through the media - what we should look like, what we should have, what will make us worthy of love and appreciation.
If we are told from a young age that we are smart or beautiful and these are reinforced through positive interactions with others, we grow up to believe this is true. However if we are criticised or made to feel we cannot meet the expectations of others around us and this is reinforced over time we grow up to feel like we are not good enough. It can also be learnt, parents with low self-esteem or self worth will perceive the world around them in a negative way and teach this to their children through their observed interactions with the world.
Self esteem will have a huge impact on whether we fail or succeed. People with high self-esteem believe in themselves and their abilities, are motivated and make positive life decisions. Whereas people with low self-esteem may hold themselves back and prevent themselves achieving their goals as they will believe they are not good enough to succeed.
There are three types of self-esteem low, high and inflated self-esteem and this will dictate how you interact with your environment and others based on how you feel about yourself. People with high self-esteem tend to accept themselves and love themselves for who they are. They believe and trust in their abilities and have the confidence to know whatever challenges may come they will overcome them. They don‘t seek outside approval from others and tend to be able to be themselves without fear of judgement.
People with inflated self-esteem tend to think of themselves as better than other people and are always ready to underestimate others. It can be a very negative type of self-esteem as it can prevent the individual from forming meaningful and healthy relationships. They tend to want to get ahead at any cost and don‘t mind hurting people to achieve this, as they believe this will bring them happiness. They tend to not have the ability to listen to others and constantly blame and undervalue them and also adopt an aggressive and hostile attitude to others. They have a great fear of failure and rejection so they feel they need to hide their incompetences through these types behaviours.
People with low-self esteem tend to believe they are never good enough. They tend to not believe in themselves or their abilities and feel they are unworthy. This may lead them to avoid social situations or hide away as this temporarily will make them feel safe. However continuing this behaviour over a longer period of time just reinforces the negative beliefs you have about yourself and teaches you that the only way to cope is to avoid things. Longer periods of living with low self-esteem can affect a person’s relationships, lead to anxiety, depression or addiction.
The way to deal with low self-esteem is to challenge the negative thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself.Take note of these negative thoughts and where they might come from and then reframe them in a more positive way. Remind yourself of everything you are GOOD at. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. SAY NO. Don‘t set yourself impossible expectations out of fear of not being able to achieve or succeed. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t let the way others treat you determine who you are, this is only a reflection of what they feel about themselves. We all have days we don‘t feel confident and may feel a little low but allowing these feelings to control you and the way you live your life will only reinforce these feelings and ultimately make you feel worse. Take care of yourself!
If you would like support with this then send me a message. Hypnotherapy can help you by reframing and improving the way you think and feel about yourself.
